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[throughbamboo]

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[throughbamboo]

[oh my god]

That's all shut down 'cuz of you?

[doggonemad]

[ nnnnnot looking over. ]

Went on a real helluva bender. Threw down with Kiryu-chan an' everythin'.

[throughbamboo]

Heard 'bout someone drivin' through it, but - shit, bro.

[doggonemad]

Ya wouldn't even recognize me if ya'd been there, bro.

[throughbamboo]

I woulda recognized ya.

[doggonemad]

I was so far gone. Only time I felt even kinda like m'self was when I was helpin' Kiryu-chan get stronger. Otherwise, it was just . . . fuckin' Mad Dog.

[throughbamboo]

Fuckin' hell.

[he runs a hand over his head, just. Watching him for a moment]

Shoulda never been like that.

[doggonemad]

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

[throughbamboo]

Yeah. Can't do nothin' 'bout it now, I know.

[doggonemad]

All the world's a stage an' all that shit.

I'm tryin'. I dunno. Been findin' myself this past year, after dealin' with settlin' the boss's affairs.

[throughbamboo]

Mmm, I can tell. That yer tryin', I mean.

Y'got somethin' now that - ya ain't lost it back home, 'sjust not like this. Dunno if I can explain it well. 'S just obvious ta me.

[doggonemad]

It's called "depression," bro.

[throughbamboo]

I mean, that's prob'ly why it's different.

[doggonemad]

Prob'ly, yeah.

[throughbamboo]

[he tries to think of how to put before he just shakes his head a bit]

Ya ain't all worn down. It ain't nothin' like that memory back home, but - ain't like I don't know why, either.

[doggonemad]

Makes sense. I ain't dealin' with all the Tojo shit on top of my own shit.

[throughbamboo]

Dealin' with Tojo's shit all the time would get ta everyone with any sense to 'em.

[doggonemad]

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm damn glad ya never had ta see me like that. Woulda broken yer damn heart.

[throughbamboo]

[a little huff]

Still breaks my heart, bro.

That fuck of a boss is lucky he was already dead when I got out.

[doggonemad]

Hey, I'm— m'okay, bro. C'mon.

[throughbamboo]

I know. Ain't sayin' ya aren't either.

[doggonemad]

But?

[throughbamboo]

. . . how would you feel if ya saw me like that?

[doggonemad]

[ he goes quiet at that, looking down at his hands. ]

[throughbamboo]

That's the "but".