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[throughbamboo]

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[throughbamboo]

[slowly takes a seat himself, putting the tea in front of her]

Even if they were here they wouldn't, honestly.

[ifyoulive]

Must be nice.

[throughbamboo]

Ehhh. They all got their projects goin', even after shit like that performance.

[ifyoulive]

And you?

[throughbamboo]

'M takin' it easy today.

[ifyoulive]

[ sips tea ]

Mmhm.

[throughbamboo]

I am. 'M just gonna go spend time with the Arias later, s'the only plans I got.

[ifyoulive]

I believe you.

I just don't know what to say except "this sucks".

[throughbamboo]

Yeah, it sucks.

This what got ya freaked? All this nonsense, or is it the vision too?

[ifyoulive]

The vision was... it was creepy, but if past me had an acting gig before she went and fucked up her memories, then good for her.

[ trying and failing to not sound bitter ]

Acidia freaks me out. Being stuck with a bunch of self-sacrificial lunatics scares the shit out of me.

[throughbamboo]

Hrmm. You'll get more of 'em the more ya win, so you'll find out what happens to her again.

. . . but mmm, s'scary if ya don't wanna do that yerself. I know Nettle ain't like that, but have ya talked to 'em about it?

[ifyoulive]

I really, really don't want to do that to myself, but they haven't asked me to, so we're good, right?

[throughbamboo]

Good until it comes up again.

That shit's stressful enough without y'all havin' to argue about that. Y'oughta have that discussion when ya can take the time for it.

[ifyoulive]

I hate it when you're right.

[throughbamboo]

I hear that a lot.

[ifyoulive]

River's here.

[throughbamboo]

Yeah. He's been here since we boarded.

1/2

[ifyoulive]

I thought he was dead.

[ifyoulive]

—And, I mean, I guess that's true. He's gone, and... Aster's nice, you know? It's not his fault.

Being around him makes me want to jump off the boat, though.

[throughbamboo]

. . . ya make it sound like Aster's a completely different person.

[ifyoulive]

You make it sound like he isn't.

[throughbamboo]

That's 'cuz he's not.

There's differences, sure. He's been livin' a different life, different experiences - an' bein' here? Ain't no one walkin' off this boat the same as they walked on. I don't mean that in a bad way, either.

But - still River. Ya might have to look a lil' closer sometimes to see it, but I promise ya it's there.

[ifyoulive]

...

You know those thugs that follow me around sometimes? They loved her. The real Ivy. They want... I don't know what they want, but they want me gone. They're not fucking around when they try to kill me. 'cause I'm not her. I can't be her. I try and try and try—but in the end, I'm still just a knockoff replacement for their precious leader.

It's not their fault. Ivy left them to die. I left them to die. I didn't know. I didn't know, Ore. But it still happened. It's still my fault. So now I get to chase some relic that doesn't exist anymore, 'cause that's the only version of me that was ever worth something.

But Aster? He's real. He's made a life for himself, without having to be River.

[throughbamboo]

[he leans back in his chair, crossing his arms as he listens. His frown slowly deepens]

The real Ivy is the one sittin' here with me drinkin' tea. An' if anyone says otherwise, they can go fuck themselves.

Be who you want to be. Not what others expect ya to be.

[then, a little gentler]

But If ya didn't know, then ya didn't know, Ivy. Don't make it yer fault an' it ain't fair to say that it is. It's a hell of a messed up situation to be in.

1/2

[ifyoulive]

[ oh ]