for @doggonemad

[throughbamboo]

just bros being bros

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[throughbamboo]

[he feels so much anger, but there's nowhere to put it. And that just makes him even more angry.

His hand moves across his back, practically gentle in contrast to what he growls out]

I'd fuckin' kill 'im if he weren't already dead.

[doggonemad]

[ haha it gets worse haha. ]

He's dead an' gone, bro.

[throughbamboo]

[he's gonna PISS ON HIS GRAVE.

But some of the anger briefly deflates out of him]

Good fuckin' riddance.

[doggonemad]

[ cracks his eye open a bit. ]

This is why I didn't wanna tell ya.

[throughbamboo]

'Cuz I'd get angry?

[doggonemad]

Yeah. An' it don't matter now. Everyone who pulled that shit on me over the years is long dead an' gone.

[throughbamboo]

. . .

[his fingers deliberately touch a more scarred part of his back]

I'd get angry no matter what ya told me, bro. Tellin' me just tells me where t'send it.

[doggonemad]

They're all dead. I fuckin' torched the Hole myself.

[throughbamboo]

Ya did? Good.

[doggonemad]

Mm. It's all done with.

[throughbamboo]

Good.

[said a little quieter. He thinks for a moment, then]

. . . I won't ask ya to get into it. I wanna know, but that part's for whenever you feel like tellin' it, if ya ever do.

[doggonemad]

. . .

I think yer pretty good at readin' between the lines, bro.

[throughbamboo]

Yeah . . . I am.

[and even then, he probably still can't imagine the worst.

Fuck]

[doggonemad]

[ should i tell him about sagawa . . .

nahhhhh. ]

So. That's about it.

[throughbamboo]

Mmn.

Ya've been through a lot.

[doggonemad]

Ain't no more'n you've been through.

[throughbamboo]

Y'would say that.

[doggonemad]

Ya spent over half yer life in jail.

[throughbamboo]

[he wants to say doing a whole lot of nothing, but]

. . . 's a lot too.

[doggonemad]

That ain't our lives anymore, though.

[throughbamboo]

Yeah . . .

[thoughtful, just a touch uncertain, like - yeah, it actually isn't gonna be like that anymore, huh]

[doggonemad]

We can be whatever we want. We ain't gettin' fucked over by assholes now.

[throughbamboo]

. . . shit, that's weird.

[he'll say it]

[doggonemad]

I know. Took me a couple've years ta get used ta it. I was so fuckin' lost after Shimano died.

[throughbamboo]

[that's awful for so many more reasons now]

Yeah . . . I bet.