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[throughbamboo]

catch-all/overflow

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[throughbamboo]

It always get that bad?

[ah . . . he takes his hand, fingers curling around it and squeezing]

[doggonemad]

Not always. Not that bad, not with all the death an' shit.

[ curls his fingers, keeping his expression neutral. ]

[throughbamboo]

Mmm. Knew ya said it could get bad, but this ain't what I expected.

[it's a warm, firm grip. After a moment, his thumb rubs along the outside of his hand]

[doggonemad]

Surprise~.

[ he relaxes somewhat at the touch. ]

. . . I need ta get over my own shit.

[throughbamboo]

Shitty surprise.

[he keeps doing it, slow and steady]

. . . gotta work through it, not get over it.

[doggonemad]

Fuck. All I wanna do right now is close that fuckin' distance, but my stupid idiot shitty-ass brain keeps screamin' at me. Fuckin' sucks.

[throughbamboo]

[god. He pauses to squeezes his hand, then continues]

Yeah, fuckin' sucks a lot.

Wish I knew how ta make it quiet down for ya, bro.

[doggonemad]

Maybe I need ta take a motorcycle to the head again or somethin'.

[throughbamboo]

All that'll do is make ya an even bigger dumbass.

Won't do anythin' for this.

[doggonemad]

. . .

Ughhhhhhh.

[throughbamboo]

[he squeezes his hand, then seems to pause, considering.

Then he lifts their hands so he can kiss the back of Hannya's]

Don't stop me from wantin' to. It'll just take time.

1/2

[doggonemad]

[ WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME ]

[doggonemad]

Okay. Okay.

[ he shifts his position so he's facing him, although he keeps holding his hand. ]

Fuck. Fuck this. We're workin' through this. Fuck. [ runs his free hand through his hair. ] We set ground rules. Communicate an' shit.

[throughbamboo]

[he looks a bit surprised, but he shifts to better face him, too]

Bro, take a breath.

But 'course, whatever rules ya set, I'll follow 'em.

1/2

[doggonemad]

Fuck these fuckin' rituals, I don't wanna die without—

[doggonemad]

[ okay. deep breaths. whew. ]

I'm good. M'cool.

[ deep. breaths. ]

. . . rule number one: neck's off limits. 'Specially the back of it.

[throughbamboo]

[he squeezes his hand tightly]

Keep takin' 'em.

[he nods]

I won't go near it.

[doggonemad]

[ takes a moment to take another deep breath in and out.

god.

he takes in another shaking breath before continuing. ]

Rule number two, don't surprise me. If yer gonna do somethin', ask. I know that ain't sexy an' shit, but. Whatever.

[throughbamboo]

[this is. Sure something to watch, fucking hell]

I don't give a shit 'bout sexy, Hannya. I won't touch ya without ya knowin'.

[doggonemad]

Rule number three: don't ask. I ain't gonna answer.

[throughbamboo]

. . . long as ya know that if ya wanna talk, I'll listen.

[doggonemad]

. . . I don't. Fuck. I really don't.

[throughbamboo]

Then ya don't gotta.

I ain't ever gonna make ya.

[doggonemad]

[ nods slowly. ]

Think that's enough fer now. I know ya'd stop if I asked ya to an' vice versa.

[throughbamboo]

Damn right I would. This is on yer terms.

[a bit of a rueful look]

Been bein' careful 'bout surprisin' ya and touchin' ya since I got out. Yer workin' on it at home, too - we just ain't talked 'bout it like this.