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[throughbamboo]

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[audacity]

...yeah. I do. Val said something the other day about how I should know they'd always come back for me, and how important he thinks I've gotta be to everyone, and I kind of freaked out a little. I didn't mean to. But he made it sound like such a given, and I couldn't —

[ makes an annoyed sound at himself ]

[throughbamboo]

. . . hearin' it is nice, but it ain't what ya need to believe it.

[audacity]

I don't know what I need to believe it. I don't even know how to.

[throughbamboo]

Mmm . . . I think, for ya to do that, ya gotta get over your yer fear of doin' it first.

[audacity]

Dunno how to get over a...

[ pauses to think about that ]

...I mean, besides something like what I'm doing right now. Trying to look at it till it gets less scary. Or I understand it better.

[throughbamboo]

What yer doin' now can help. Between this an' just - mmm, time to let it sink in, maybe.

[audacity]

And maybe, instead of just thinking about the scary loss part when I think about a home, thinking about the good stuff too.

[throughbamboo]

That too.

Lot of shit's gonna try interfere with it. Understandin' this all will make it easier to accept it when it does.

Yer already on the right path for that to happen. Just acknowledgin' it at all is a big step. I hope ya know that.

[audacity]

[ laughs a little ]

You think so?

[throughbamboo]

'Course I do. Y'ain't tryin' to ignore it - which I think most people would keep tryin' to do.

[audacity]

I just...don't want to get stuck in the past because of something bad happening. Something terrible happened. Bad things happen to everyone, though, especially around here. They're going to keep happening. But there's also really good stuff too, and I want to be able to appreciate that.

[throughbamboo]

'Zactly. Bad stuff is just gonna keep pilin' up if ya let it. Ya can't let it overshadow all the good stuff that's gonna happenin' an' keep happenin', too.

[audacity]

Yeah. The Dame can ruin my day with her performances, but she definitely doesn't deserve to ruin anything else for me.

[throughbamboo]

Damn right that b—damn woman don't deserve that. Don't let her ruin shit.

[audacity]

She's really the worst.

[throughbamboo]

I have yet to hear anythin' even remotely good 'bout her.

[audacity]

Did I tell you she showed up to the Doctor's performance, just to enjoy the show?

[throughbamboo]

[he scowls a little]

Ya didn't. Must've missed that, what with everythin' goin' on.

[audacity]

Don't blame you. I was lucky enough that she stopped by to laugh at me specifically. Before we had to do any wedding or beheading, I mean. Though she probably got a kick out of my dead body too.

[throughbamboo]

Why the fuck did she do that?

[audacity]

Uhhhh, because she's evil and crazy?

[throughbamboo]

No, I mean - why specifically you? Or was she just bein' a bitch?

[makes a face when the curse slips out]

[audacity]

[ smiles at the curse before shrugging ]

Easy prey? Can't say she didn't get under my skin.

[throughbamboo]

[there might be another bitch hidden in that grumble]

Next time she does it, just ignore her. Don't give her what she wants.

[audacity]

Don't worry, Val gave me a ward against evil.

[ finally pulls back so he can tug a charm out from under his shirt ]

He's hoping it can repel vampires.